BUT………………..

(Dedicated to Praveen, whose good words, strange yet pleasantly surprising praise made me to think again of writing…which I think I had forgotten/chosen to forget. So in case web is full of crap….u know Praveen is the man to blame!!!!)

The three alphabet word which should be counted as one amongst the deadliest in the world apart from “YES” and “NO”. Well if you don’t believe me then sample this:

I like you BUT…………………..

I want you BUT…………………

You are a good person BUT…….

You would have made it BUT…..

You deserve it BUT……………..

Your work is nice BUT………….

Guess by now you must yourself thought of many buts that would have knocked the butts out many.

Man by nature would never be satisfied…guess that’s the reasons for our development BUT this dis-satisfaction is now becoming a bane. We forget to appreciate things in their perspective and keep demanding perfection even when it cannot be done more better given the circumstances and means.

If good gracious Lord himself would come on this earth, we would ask Him for his proof and demonstration of his super powers and then still chide him saying that You are good BUT…aren’t better than Krishh, Superman, Batman, etc, etc/

So why do we keep saying the word BUT……. Of course apart from trying to be perfectionist, the word is used for reasons more important which would be in following order:

1. Frog in well mentality
2. Insecurity / Jealously
3. Lack of appreciative eye
4. and many more other reasons……..

To be honest for me either 1 / 2 have been more of reasons than anything else. I was lucky (or were others lucky) that I realized the folly quickly many a times and then understood to be appreciative. But…..yes again but….with kids somehow and sometimes with friends/close people I become to demanding and say BUT.

So how would you rate yourself while appraising things and others? Remember the world is never perfect and can never be, cause if world became perfect then we have to be dead as paradise is reached then. Hence, instead of trying to be perfect and achieve perfection in every thing, try making peace with yourself. Know your limits and that of others. As the main purpose of writing this is to spread a message in a light hearted manner, imagine the situation of each of those persons in the situations mentioned above where BUT would/could be/have been used.

I have tried to plot some of them, BUT….you would definitely do better!!!!

I like you BUT…………………..you are not rich/ handsome/(beautiful),

you are not like a superman

you are not like my dad

I want you BUT…………………cant afford you

Society wouldn’t permit

afraid of__________

You are a good person BUT…….we cant be friends as that would be_____

I still don’t want to give my daughter(/son) to you

You would have made it BUT…..I / Boss liked him more

He has more reach

You deserve it BUT……………..no one thinks so

we don’t want to give because______

Your work is nice BUT………….this could have been made better (I cant appreciate you in front of others)

They helped you take your first steps…………will you help them taking their final steps….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The tagline couldn’t have been more simple, the thought more real and the fact more darker.

Life evolves, each generation surpasses the previous, gets more better than other but forgets that it was due to the previous generation the present is there. Was good to hear a remark of an old actor that its good that the new generation doesn’t do the same things his generation did otherwise there would have been no development. But this in no means implies that we forget the contributions and roles of our elders. Edison wouldn’t have invented the bulb had fire not been discovered and we couldn’t have been ‘Mobile’ had Graham bell not invented the telephone.

To begin with, lets start with the people who bring us into the world. They help us taking our first steps in life and in this world. They also could have sped in those days the way we do today, when we could barely stand and today when they could barely run. How many of us don’t chide our parents for being slow. How many of us don’t make fun of them. My mom taught me an important lesson when I made fun of her English; she said that the alphabets of English in which I was taking pride were taught by her. This stuck me like a bolt bringing me down to earth in an instance. Such a true statement. Why do we keep forgetting that where we are is a result of the efforts of our parents. Have you ever tried driving/walking slow so that your dad can keep pace with you, have you ever tried doing what they have been doing for us and yet not complain. Try once and enjoy the smile on their faces.

And if you have begun, don’t just stop at your parents, look around and help each person who helped you shape your life today but feels out of place today. Help each and every person elder to you because if you are generation X, there will be a generation Y soon.

Love - A feeling or an illusion....[does not talk abt anylove apart from adam and eve]

LOVE.....a four letter word that binds millions and is worth trillions of business.
Science explains it as feelings due to some particular enzymes and nerves acting in the brain.
Religions prohibit it as blasphemous.
Teenagers and many a people wish to experience it.
So what is this LOVE ?
The first few things that comes to mind on hearing this word are a red shape termed as heart (which no-where closely resembles an actual), a person of opposite sex (unless you are one who runs opposite to nature), Valentine day and a tender feeling.
Is it good or bad ? If its good then why many are opposed to it. If it is bad then why so many claim to be in love and many more waiting earnestly to feel it.
Many ask me whats my view on it. Well, I have always maintained that,
Love is the most beautiful feeling to have,
You are lucky if you have felt it,
You are luckier if the person for whom you feel reciprocates.
More luckier if the love is accepted by all.
And luckiest if you are able to continue to being in love forever, able to get each other and hold on.

Why burn your heart !!!

Its surprising to find that people burn their hearts over the tiniest matters in life. Some are jealous, some just want the others down but surprisingly most of them dont even have a reason for such hatred.
It is the third category which is the most difficult to handle and perhaps the most to worry about coz they dont even have a reason for jealousy but still love to hate. If you just happen to witness any of the realty shows you would find that they are in aplenty. I was shocked to see even sportsmen being part of this in the recent IPL matches. Many expected, including myself that sledging would diminish in this format. But its the reverse which is happening and sadly Indians are getting against Indians. Players who played as one team are now after each other's blood (atleast on-field) as they represent different teams. Aggression is good as long as its controlled. But when will these people understand. Sports can never be a great leveller and arena for friendship if the aggression is un-controlled. If civilised people cannot control themselves in sports itself, one cannot expect the uncivilised, uneducated, poverty stricken people who turn terrorists to see sense. Some argue that aggression is good for sports but where is this aggression taking us to. What are the children observing from such behaviour ? The behaviour of players, actors, common man in sports, reality shows and news channels.
I hate to watch TV today because none of the programmes including news channel want to see good of people. In name of entertaintment, in pursuit of TRPs and for profits to themselves these people are just exploiting emotions of people. But to blame them would not be a solution.
Its the people who are to be blamed as the media sells only what is bought. If people dont stop getting exploited, dont let someone run high on their emotions and dont understand the hidden deceit in others they would keep falling prey to theirs and others greed.
When will we understand that Man comes with nothing in his hand and will go with nothing in his hands. The name, fame, money, lust all shall fall, diminish and be obsolete once the heart stops beating. So why burn your heart!!!

Happiness - A state of mind or an everlasting illusion

The biggest question which many troubled souls have is how to find peace, how to find happiness. What are the tools for achieving them ? How can one sustain them once achieved ? This is a question which is asked by males and females, by children and by aged, not to forget the youth who are the most troubled lot. Its an answer which is seek-ed by every human irrespective of his caste / creed /religion /sex.

Why not animals ask this?

Not because they don't have a language to speak but because they have not bound themselves by the ropes of hatred, the greedy walls of achievement, the thirst to have it all.

So are animals better off than us? Even after progress of over 20 centuries why is man not better than animal. Surprised? I am not talking about the technological progress. Yes we have progressed a lot technically, from fire to laser lights, from radio to ipods, from paper to computers. But each progress has taken us a step back. In a movie which I watched recently [Lage raho munnabhai –India], the anchor says that we are in touch with the world through internet but do not know the neighbour next door. So true is this, so true across all parts of the world.

Let’s first define happiness.

Is it money? Is it success? No.

Is it that we are victorious always? No.

Though people may “feel” Happy when they get any of the three above, it’s not everlasting. By happiness I mean, the state of the mind being in control, the state when you are able to find sorrow in joy and joy in sorrow. It’s about getting up daily and saying thank God for this beautiful morning today, it’s about thanking God every night for the day irrespective of it being good or bad.